He kept trying to pick up the pace of things and after some initial reluctance she let herself get swept up in it and started to trust him and her feelings increased.
A weekend in the country, romantic walks in the park, lots of phone calls and texts, and then being introduced one night to his friends and colleagues who all said they’d never seen him like that, all in the space of a few weeks. I have countless emails from readers telling me stories of guys (and women) who moved the initial dating period along at high speed.
Dating is a fact finding period where you should be discovering ‘facts’ that let you work out whether you can proceed, or whether you should be cautious, and/or abort the mission.
If you love and trust blindly and get sucked into being moved along at high speed, you will be blind in the relationship when you actually have a responsibility to yourself to have your eyes open. Slowing down and actually getting to know each other at a healthier pace creates a connection.
When the relationship stops being new, they’re panicking about what you may be expecting, and they’re sure of your interest, the desire loses its ‘erection’.
If you don’t hear from them again, they’ll have moved on and pressed The Reset Button with someone else…and lather, rinse, repeat.
They also make the mistake of being so OTT that they create expectations that they cannot deliver on.
These people overestimate their level of interest because often the uncertainty of not knowing how you feel and needing to ‘win you over’ and ‘suck you in’, is what triggers their desire for you.
And let’s be real, it is flattering when someone seems to fancy the arse off us so much that they can’t seem to want to stop ripping off our clothes or saying we’re the best thing since sliced bread.
From declarations of falling in love and ‘I love you’ when they’d barely known them a hot minute, conversations about babies, marriage, moving in, meeting parents and being whirled around like a show pony amongst friends, or hearing about how ‘Everyone is so eager to meet you’, to high intensity liaisons with persistence, great sex, average sex, and multiple phone calls, texts, emails, and letters in a bottle, all of these people have been whizzed at high speed through the early crucial stage of dating.
It’s called Fast-Forwarding and it’s a technique where someone sweeps you up in a tide of intensity when they’re pursuing you and you’re dating them that you end up missing crucial red flags.
If you have Fast-Forwarding habits, it’s a good time to address your beliefs and attitudes about dating because you’re setting yourself up for failure.
In fact, I’d ask yourself how serious you are about finding a relationship because exerting this type of pressure so early on in the relationship not only tests the people out to see if they can meet your emotional demands, but a lot of the behaviour in Fast-Forwarded Relationships is quite unhealthy.
), a day, a night, a few dates, weeks, months, and in some cases, some can play the long game and draw it out for a year.