Is Twitter terrible, or is it just a platform terrible people have taken advantage of?Are dating apps exhausting because of some fundamental problem with the apps, or just because dating is always frustrating and disappointing?I can feel myself half-assing it sometimes, for just this reason.Larry Lawal, a 27-year-old straight male software developer in Atlanta, says he used to meet up with women from the apps for dinner or drinks several times a month, but now, “I don’t know, something happened [since] the earlier days,” he says.“But on the other hand, Tinder just doesn’t feel efficient.
“What if everyone who was going to find a happy relationship on a dating app already did?
But “it really is sifting through a lot of crap to be able to find somebody.”Sales’s article focused heavily on the negative effects of easy, on-demand sex that hookup culture prizes and dating apps readily provide.
And while no one is denying the existence of fuckboys, I hear far more complaints from people who are trying to find relationships, or looking to casually date, who just find that it’s not working, or that it’s much harder than they expected.“I think the whole selling point with dating apps is ‘Oh, it’s so easy to find someone,’ and now that I’ve tried it, I’ve realized that’s actually not the case at all,” says my friend Ashley Fetters, a 26-year-old straight woman who is an editor at The easiest way to meet people turns out to be a really labor-intensive and uncertain way of getting relationships.
But in the past year or so, I’ve felt the gears slowly winding down, like a toy on the dregs of its batteries.
I feel less motivated to message people, I get fewer messages from others than I used to, and the exchanges I do have tend to fizzle out before they become dates.
Each person felt like a real possibility, rather than an abstraction.